Single and Happy

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The name of my blog includes the word “single” for a reason. At this point in my life, I have no desire to remarry or be a part of a committed couple. I have lived alone for twenty plus years, and I am quite content with my situation. Even before that, when my children were still living at home, I was very much single. After my husband passed away, they had made it perfectly clear that they did not want a new dad, period. And so, I grew to accept my singleness gradually.

As my kids got older and needed me less, I did date occasionally. Friends often tried introducing me to available men, but I never found that special someone who I wanted to share my life with again. I was set in my ways and did not want to adjust to a new partner’s habits. As I got older, the men I met seemed needy. They were looking for someone to care for them as they aged. 77b4f23c73b1a4f0f8ef9dda08bbed5d

 

 

 

 

I would often look at the relationships around me and hear the partners’ complaints about each other.  “He’s never home; I will have to check with my husband; He never leaves the couch on weekends; He’s out with the guys drinking; I’m always stuck with the kids; and on and on. I was not in a hurry to join their ranks. I did not have to check in with anyone, or ask if I could buy something, or ask about someone else’s schedule.

ba2e18a1d5a8bd1d14d29d209a36c257  My life is uncomplicated. I come and go when and where I wish. Believe it or not, being single is very liberating. People used to look at me with a certain sadness in their eye. I was asked so many times why I had not remarried in all those years. Wasn’t I lonely? How could I manage a job, home, and family on my own? If I had to be honest, I never wanted to marry in the first place. In the 60’s, it was just expected that you finished school, got a job, married, and had a family. So, rather than buck the norm, so to speak, I did what was expected.

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Now all this sounds like I do not like men. Nothing could be further from the truth. I enjoy their company immensely. I would love to be able to date casually, but from my own experience, men my age want commitment or a much younger lady. To be honest, the men my age that I meet seem OLD! Perhaps that’s the problem! I need to focus on a younger age group. Hhmmm!

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo

 

 

It Takes Two…. Not Always!

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Let me preface this post by saying, “I like men.” I enjoy their company, their sexuality, and if they like to dance as much as I do, so much the better. I also need to make it clear that I am single and have been for the last 34 years. (That number surprises even me!). I have dated and had brief “flings” for want of another word, but I have never felt the need to remarry or have a permanent man in my life. When I was much younger, I would see the sad look on people’s faces as they reassured me that I would find another partner to share my life.

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I truly love my own space and independence. I will admit that along the way there were times when I was angry at my husband for leaving me alone with all the responsibility of raising our two kids. In retrospect, he did me a huge favor. I had no one to lean on, but myself and this forced me to dig down deep and be strong. For that, I will forever be grateful.

In a world where couples sometimes change partners more often than their socks, I tend to wonder why they marry in the first place? The television is inundated with these bridal shows  like “Say Yes To The Dress” or the one where four brides compete for the best wedding to win a luxury honeymoon, or “Married At First Sight”, but my favorite has to be “90 Day Fiancé”. What the hell are these people thinking? Blending two lives together is difficult enough without these additional stresses.

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Most of the women in my circle of friends are single and most of us are widows. We all love the company of men, but at this stage of our lives, I think I can safely say that none of us would remarry or live with a man again. We all enjoy busy, interesting lives. We have no one to worry about except ourselves, or perhaps our kids.

I have discussed this topic with several men my age. None of them want to live alone and all would like to find a woman to look after them as they get older. Somehow I fail to see the romance in that situation.

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Several weeks ago, my cousin posted her frustration on Facebook. She is married. The post went like this, “You’d better get the projector lights out on the lawn before the ground freezes,” he said. “Yes I know, that’s why I’m going out to do it now.” Three hours later, “When are the lights going out ?” he asks as I stand in the front hall warming my frozen hands from driving stakes into the ground and trying to attach extension cords that actually work. “I will need help with the blanket lights over the bushes when they thaw out.” “When will that be?” “When they thaw out.” “When what thaws out?” 🙄 I asked her why he wasn’t helping and she responded saying apparently the Christmas lights are hers now.

I was incensed, and it wasn’t even my problem. I said, “You are a couple, and he should help because it is important to you.” This simple situation resonated with me. I really appreciated my singleness. I have no one else but myself to depend on for these kinds of things, and I know I will never let myself down. I will never have to feel that frustration.

Before you think that I am completely against marriage or having a permanent partner, I am not. I love seeing senior couples who are still very much in love. It worked for them! They learned the secret to a successful partnership. It is the little things you do for each other without being asked, not the grand gestures.

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So, do not feel sorry for those of us who have remained single. We are managing just fine! However, if you know a single man who just wants to have fun, you know where to find me. LOL

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo