Where Is Prince Charming?

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There are some things in life that change very little over time. MEN!!!!! I am being somewhat sarcastic, but the truth is that they don’t really change. Yes, they age! They lose their hair and their teeth, and put on a few pounds around the middle, but they remain under the influence of that organ that dangles between their legs. It is really quite amazing that it wields so much power. And they don’t seem to mind admitting it. I met a very nice-looking 80 year old man not long ago. He invited me for lunch and over coffee and dessert, he told me he was in love with me. My immediate reaction was, “But you barely know me!” He responded with, “I’m eighty and all my parts still work just fine. I want to make love to you.” Well, I have to admit I was lost for words, and that is a rare occurrence.42b3fbfea992e02c3890d4d0fdd39dd6

Now before you get the wrong idea, I really like most men. They are fun and relatively easy to understand. What you see is pretty much what you get. So I have to wonder why finding someone to date is so difficult. Is it me?

I have been single for a very long time. Oh, I have dated now and then, but the men I have met  seem to  want either a serious commitment or a one night fling. I have lived alone for over 30 years, and I have grown to like my solitary arrangement. I really have no desire to live with another person at this stage of the game. And as for a one night stand, unless the sex is amazing, why bother? Whatever happened to just dating? You know what I mean… going to a movie, dinner, a sports event. I would love to find someone who would enjoy doing these things with the intimacy thrown in, but no living together. Perhaps single living has made me too independent.

Just where does a woman go to meet interesting men? I have heard all the suggestions like… join a club or a gym, singles dances, singles clubs, the grocery store or hardware store, volunteer, through friends, and online dating sites.

The craziest dating experiences that I have had so far were through online dating. It is amazing the things guys, and I am sure girls as well, put in their online profiles. Do they not realize that the idea is to actually meet in person at some point? One gentleman admitted to using his brother’s picture in his profile because the brother was younger and still had his hair. Imagine my shock when we met for coffee. a4d8775a8e71bc9974b87ec702d349eb

The biggest eye-opener for me was the number of younger men who are looking for older women. At least half of the guys that contacted me online were 15 to 20 years younger, and I stated specifically in my profile that I was only interested in my own age group. One guy, who was 14 years younger than I, was so persistent that I actually agreed to meet him. I mean maybe I was missing something here. We met at the zoo of all places. We looked at the animals for a couple of hours and then grabbed a bite to eat. The conversation was easy, and our “date” turned out to be fun, but I felt like I was spending time with my son. The guy was surprised when I said “no thanks” to date number 2.

The other single women in my social group agree with me. Where are all the eligible senior men? Oh, they are out there, but they are looking for younger women! If you have any suggestions for us, please let us know; we welcome any help we can get. Short of that, we may have to get fishing nets and head to the closest frog pond.

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo

 

Sex and the Single Senior

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One of my favorite television series was “Sex in the City”, and I now watch it every day in reruns. I always fancied myself as the Carrie Bradshaw character, and here I am writing about sex and the single, senior woman. Dreams can come true! All kidding aside, I get the impression that many younger people think that once we hit a certain age ( I have no idea what that age might be ), we are no longer interested in sex. I am here to set the record straight. Yes, we are still interested! (Except those who perhaps never were.)

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A friend of mine has a mother who is living in a retirement home. She is in her late 80’s. One evening at a large, family dinner, her mother needed something from her purse, and she proceeded to pull several items out to find what she was searching for. Out tumbled a condom package. Her children and grandchildren gasped. She was unfazed. When questioned about the condom, she simply said that they give them out in the “home”.

“You have to be careful, you know,” was all she said as she refilled her purse.

And she is correct. Sexually transmitted diseases are sometimes rampant in retirement homes. The residents may be old, but they are not dead.

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Not so long ago at our weekly pub dinner, the conversation got around to sex, as is often the case. We were laughing and joking, but one of the girls became serious.

“I’m worried that if something happens to me, my children will find my “special drawer” where I keep my vibrator,” she admitted.

The table went silent for about a second. Then another voice piped up, “Just pair up with one of the other girls, and if either of you becomes too ill, the healthy  one will go in and hide the evidence. Problem solved!”

Everyone laughed and nodded in agreement.

Then another friend announced that she had already given this some thought, and she had a better solution. ” Never mind a vibrator,” she said, “what you need is an electric toothbrush. No one will think twice about an electric toothbrush in your bedside table.” We were puzzled for a minute or so. Then we burst into gales of laughter, but she was serious. Now let this idea sink in for just a moment. Are you still with me? Just use your imagination. ( I think the toothbrush manufacturers should be paying me for this plug. )

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“I wonder if I can get a motor for this beauty?”

The point of this post is that age has nothing to do with desire. And while aging bodies do create more challenges , where there is a will, there is a way. As I have said so many times before, life is not finite or predictable. If something is enjoyable and you are hurting no one, then I say go for it. At what other time in your life can you have the fun without worrying about getting pregnant? But as always….be safe!

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo