relationships

Love It !

by Penny

I am so enjoying the “Sex In The City” spinoff, “And Just Like That”. It seems like only yesterday (such a cliche) that I was enthralled with the original series. It encompassed so much that I found entertaining… the fashion, life in a big city, relationships, bad choices, exciting careers, and of course, men. It was refreshing that the writers were gutsy enough to tackle sensitive topics. I could identify with each of the characters in some way, but on a deeper level, Carrie became my alter-ego. Not only did we share a passion for writing, but our love of shoes, especially high heels was a match. Once a week for the duration of the series, I lived vicariously through this character. Yes, I know, I know! The series was frivolous and often too sugary sweet and silly, or for some offensive in content, but they touched on real topics that many women could relate to in their own lives.

Sometime ago when the “family cottage” was still in our possession, a weekend guest left the entire “Sex In The City” box set behind. I watched the episodes over and over. At some point, my son invited a friend of his to join us for a short visit. As was generally the case, we would play cards or a random board game in the evening and then watch a DVD since there was no television reception. On this particular occasion, I woke in the morning to find my son’s guest relaxing on the couch absorbing an episode of my favorite. I jokingly asked him if he was desperate for something to watch. “Not at all,” he assured me with eyes glazed over from lack of sleep. “I’ve learned more about how women think and talk than I ever thought possible.”

The new series has been met with plenty of criticism. Someone even wrote that the characters are old and unappealing now, that they have wrinkles and a few extra pounds, that women don’t talk or think this way as they age. I am here to tell you that they do. Just because we get older, does not mean that we lose interest in our appearance or our sexuality. Now, to be honest, some women never show an interest in these topics, and they will never start as they age. We all know those ladies who are old before their time.

For me, aging has come with its own set of problems and changes, but it has been the most freeing time of my life. I no longer feel the need to conform to societies expectations. I have laboriously climbed the mountain of building a career, making a home, raising children, and yes, even losing my spouse, but I made it, theoretically, to the top. The only negative of this is that I am now on the downside of that damn mountain, and we know how much faster it is to come downhill. However, I intend to squeeze every moment of pleasure out of whatever time I have remaining. Betty White is my new inspiration.

I will dress up and show up for every opportunity to enjoy my life. The fact that I have like-minded girlfriends makes my life even sweeter. Look out world! We are coming for you!!!

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo

Quarantined!!!

by Penny

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When the virus first arrived, I must admit that I was concerned. I am a senior and have been diagnosed with COPD, so there are a couple of strikes against me to be sure. As the pandemic gradually took hold, and we were asked to quarantine inside our homes, I wondered how I would manage this new reality.

Living alone had prepared me well for the “no contact” rule, but how would I get groceries and pet food and the one prescription that I take? Not to worry! My daughter insisted on getting these things for me, but she lives about a 45 minute drive away, so deliveries had to be co-ordinated. She would arrive with my shopping, leave it on the porch and stand well back for a brief visit. Our system worked fine, but it left me feeling sad (because I couldn’t touch her) and more isolated than I had ever imagined. I had never realized how much my social contacts meant to me; even those brief conversations with grocery store clerks, strangers on the street that say “hello”, weekly dinners with friends, the barmaids at my local pub, and acquaintances from classes that I take, I missed them all.

My friends and family are only a phone call away and in the beginning the calls were frequent, but when no one is going anywhere or doing anything, there becomes less and less to talk about. On a recent Saturday night, a friend decided to set-up a group video call for all of the regulars of karaoke. It was wonderful to see everyone and enjoy a virtual drink together.

The truth is I missed those people even more when the call ended.  It made me sad to think that this damn virus was stealing precious time from me. The reality is that the longest part of my life is behind me not ahead of me. There are so many things I still want to do and time does not stand still, even for Covid-19.

I am also blaming this bloody infection for turning me into an eating machine. I must finally admit that  unhealthy eating is my coping mechanism for depression. The strangest things have become my cravings. Items such as licorice all-sorts, cinnamon buns, and marshmallows to name but a few. quarantine pic #1

My cravings led me to take the chance on a trip to the grocery store. I did not want to add junk food and wine to my shopping list because my daughter thinks I am a responsible person, and I did not want to dispel that myth.

The grocery store venture gave me the courage to join the line at a local liquor store. I felt like a kid in a candy store. Even the lengthy, socially-distanced line could not deter me. It was my chance to interact socially with strangers, and it filled that void albeit temporarily.

Well, weeks turned into months. I missed my life, my hair was a mess, my feet looked like they belonged to an unidentifiable creature, and I followed our infection numbers like the stock market. We were indeed “flattening the curve”, but what next?

Several weeks ago, we moved into Phase 1 of opening our area. It didn’t really mean much to me because the places included in this phase were of little interest, but then we reached Phase 2. I was ecstatic! That first week, I went to the dentist, the hairdresser, had drinks on a patio, had a pedicure, and dinner with friends, all maintaining proper protocol and safety rules. It was better than winning the lottery.

This virus has reiterated what I already knew. It is the little things in life that bring me joy, and most importantly, it is the people in my life that matter most. We are not out of the woods yet, so keep following the rules. There will be life beyond Covid-19.

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo ♥
 

 

 

 

Single and Happy

by Penny

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The name of my blog includes the word “single” for a reason. At this point in my life, I have no desire to remarry or be a part of a committed couple. I have lived alone for twenty plus years, and I am quite content with my situation. Even before that, when my children were still living at home, I was very much single. After my husband passed away, they had made it perfectly clear that they did not want a new dad, period. And so, I grew to accept my singleness gradually.

As my kids got older and needed me less, I did date occasionally. Friends often tried introducing me to available men, but I never found that special someone who I wanted to share my life with again. I was set in my ways and did not want to adjust to a new partner’s habits. As I got older, the men I met seemed needy. They were looking for someone to care for them as they aged. 77b4f23c73b1a4f0f8ef9dda08bbed5d

 

 

 

 

I would often look at the relationships around me and hear the partners’ complaints about each other.  “He’s never home; I will have to check with my husband; He never leaves the couch on weekends; He’s out with the guys drinking; I’m always stuck with the kids; and on and on. I was not in a hurry to join their ranks. I did not have to check in with anyone, or ask if I could buy something, or ask about someone else’s schedule.

ba2e18a1d5a8bd1d14d29d209a36c257  My life is uncomplicated. I come and go when and where I wish. Believe it or not, being single is very liberating. People used to look at me with a certain sadness in their eye. I was asked so many times why I had not remarried in all those years. Wasn’t I lonely? How could I manage a job, home, and family on my own? If I had to be honest, I never wanted to marry in the first place. In the 60’s, it was just expected that you finished school, got a job, married, and had a family. So, rather than buck the norm, so to speak, I did what was expected.

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Now all this sounds like I do not like men. Nothing could be further from the truth. I enjoy their company immensely. I would love to be able to date casually, but from my own experience, men my age want commitment or a much younger lady. To be honest, the men my age that I meet seem OLD! Perhaps that’s the problem! I need to focus on a younger age group. Hhmmm!

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo ♥

 

 

Where Is Prince Charming?

by Penny

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There are some things in life that change very little over time. MEN!!!!! I am being somewhat sarcastic, but the truth is that they don’t really change. Yes, they age! They lose their hair and their teeth, and put on a few pounds around the middle, but they remain under the influence of that organ that dangles between their legs. It is really quite amazing that it wields so much power. And they don’t seem to mind admitting it. I met a very nice-looking 80 year old man not long ago. He invited me for lunch and over coffee and dessert, he told me he was in love with me. My immediate reaction was, “But you barely know me!” He responded with, “I’m eighty and all my parts still work just fine. I want to make love to you.” Well, I have to admit I was lost for words, and that is a rare occurrence.42b3fbfea992e02c3890d4d0fdd39dd6

Now before you get the wrong idea, I really like most men. They are fun and relatively easy to understand. What you see is pretty much what you get. So I have to wonder why finding someone to date is so difficult. Is it me?

I have been single for a very long time. Oh, I have dated now and then, but the men I have met  seem to  want either a serious commitment or a one night fling. I have lived alone for over 30 years, and I have grown to like my solitary arrangement. I really have no desire to live with another person at this stage of the game. And as for a one night stand, unless the sex is amazing, why bother? Whatever happened to just dating? You know what I mean… going to a movie, dinner, a sports event. I would love to find someone who would enjoy doing these things with the intimacy thrown in, but no living together. Perhaps single living has made me too independent.

Just where does a woman go to meet interesting men? I have heard all the suggestions like… join a club or a gym, singles dances, singles clubs, the grocery store or hardware store, volunteer, through friends, and online dating sites.

The craziest dating experiences that I have had so far were through online dating. It is amazing the things guys, and I am sure girls as well, put in their online profiles. Do they not realize that the idea is to actually meet in person at some point? One gentleman admitted to using his brother’s picture in his profile because the brother was younger and still had his hair. Imagine my shock when we met for coffee. a4d8775a8e71bc9974b87ec702d349eb

The biggest eye-opener for me was the number of younger men who are looking for older women. At least half of the guys that contacted me online were 15 to 20 years younger, and I stated specifically in my profile that I was only interested in my own age group. One guy, who was 14 years younger than I, was so persistent that I actually agreed to meet him. I mean maybe I was missing something here. We met at the zoo of all places. We looked at the animals for a couple of hours and then grabbed a bite to eat. The conversation was easy, and our “date” turned out to be fun, but I felt like I was spending time with my son. The guy was surprised when I said “no thanks” to date number 2.

The other single women in my social group agree with me. Where are all the eligible senior men? Oh, they are out there, but they are looking for younger women! If you have any suggestions for us, please let us know; we welcome any help we can get. Short of that, we may have to get fishing nets and head to the closest frog pond.

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo ♥

 

Girlfriends

by Penny

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Growing up, I had always had lots of friends. Most of these friends were people that I met in school or was introduced to by others. When you are young, you just assume you will grow up, start a job, get married, and keep those friendships, but as is often the case we become consumed by work and family life, and we lose touch with many of those people. Friendship takes work.

Friendships to me are like plants; each one is entirely individual and unique in personality and like plants they need to be fed and cared for or they will wilt and eventually the friendship will die. We all have those individuals who have wandered in and out of our lives; at one time we were close, but as time passed, they drifted away and we lost touch.

Youth take so much for granted. They don’t seem to maintain friendships. I can’t count the number of times that younger people have asked how long my friends and I have known each other. They are shocked to learn that many of us have been close friends for 50+ years. This fact amazes them. Most have not even been alive near that long. My daughter, who is now 40, often remarks how she has not stayed friends with any of the kids from school. She has developed new friendships through her work, but they do not share a history.

There is something to be said about growing older together. We know the good, the bad, and the ugly about each other.We have been there through marriages, babies, divorces, health problems, and yes, even death. We do not always agree, and that’s just fine.

My own amazing circle of girlfriends are an unusual mix of characters. We come in all shapes and sizes and preferences, but we share a common trait. We love to laugh…at life, at each other, and yes, even at ourselves. About 7 years ago several of us started to get together for dinner every few weeks. Well, for the last 5 years we have met for dinner EVERY Wednesday at the Tartan Tavern (yes, it is old like we are) no matter the weather and even when the power was out. Sometimes there are 9 or 10 of us squeezed around our table and sometimes only 3, but we never miss. We have become somewhat of a fixture at this pub and the waitresses and other regulars know to expect our rowdy gang without fail. We chat and gossip and laugh so much that my sides often ache when I leave. On occasion, we break into random song and that creates quite a stir.

My family mean the world to me, but I am not sure I could have made it this far in my life without my girlfriends. They lift my spirit and support my goals. They have never let me down when I needed them.

Girlfriends are powerful.

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny  xo