It Takes Two…. Not Always!

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Let me preface this post by saying, “I like men.” I enjoy their company, their sexuality, and if they like to dance as much as I do, so much the better. I also need to make it clear that I am single and have been for the last 34 years. (That number surprises even me!). I have dated and had brief “flings” for want of another word, but I have never felt the need to remarry or have a permanent man in my life. When I was much younger, I would see the sad look on people’s faces as they reassured me that I would find another partner to share my life.

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I truly love my own space and independence. I will admit that along the way there were times when I was angry at my husband for leaving me alone with all the responsibility of raising our two kids. In retrospect, he did me a huge favor. I had no one to lean on, but myself and this forced me to dig down deep and be strong. For that, I will forever be grateful.

In a world where couples sometimes change partners more often than their socks, I tend to wonder why they marry in the first place? The television is inundated with these bridal shows  like “Say Yes To The Dress” or the one where four brides compete for the best wedding to win a luxury honeymoon, or “Married At First Sight”, but my favorite has to be “90 Day Fiancé”. What the hell are these people thinking? Blending two lives together is difficult enough without these additional stresses.

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Most of the women in my circle of friends are single and most of us are widows. We all love the company of men, but at this stage of our lives, I think I can safely say that none of us would remarry or live with a man again. We all enjoy busy, interesting lives. We have no one to worry about except ourselves, or perhaps our kids.

I have discussed this topic with several men my age. None of them want to live alone and all would like to find a woman to look after them as they get older. Somehow I fail to see the romance in that situation.

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Several weeks ago, my cousin posted her frustration on Facebook. She is married. The post went like this, “You’d better get the projector lights out on the lawn before the ground freezes,” he said. “Yes I know, that’s why I’m going out to do it now.” Three hours later, “When are the lights going out ?” he asks as I stand in the front hall warming my frozen hands from driving stakes into the ground and trying to attach extension cords that actually work. “I will need help with the blanket lights over the bushes when they thaw out.” “When will that be?” “When they thaw out.” “When what thaws out?” 🙄 I asked her why he wasn’t helping and she responded saying apparently the Christmas lights are hers now.

I was incensed, and it wasn’t even my problem. I said, “You are a couple, and he should help because it is important to you.” This simple situation resonated with me. I really appreciated my singleness. I have no one else but myself to depend on for these kinds of things, and I know I will never let myself down. I will never have to feel that frustration.

Before you think that I am completely against marriage or having a permanent partner, I am not. I love seeing senior couples who are still very much in love. It worked for them! They learned the secret to a successful partnership. It is the little things you do for each other without being asked, not the grand gestures.

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So, do not feel sorry for those of us who have remained single. We are managing just fine! However, if you know a single man who just wants to have fun, you know where to find me. LOL

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo

Dancing Queens

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Like so many baby boomers, we grew up loving to dance, just like the generation before us. Dances were a  major source of entertainment all through my teen years. Not only did we have high school dances, but there were organized dances at so many other venues. Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday was usually spent on the dance floor. We either went with a date or with a group of friends knowing full well there would be someone to dance with there. American Bandstand was a staple for most teens, and we emulated their precision moves. bce286b1e1e6acf582e61af0e14cd1a4Girls and guys alike enjoyed dancing; after all, it was an easy way to meet someone and hold them close to you for the duration of a song. And who can forget rocking it out with a jive or “fast dance” as we called it?

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As I grew older and married, there seemed to be fewer opportunities to dance. Oh, there was always New Year’s Eve and the occasional sports dinner/dance evening or wedding, but it wasn’t the same. By the time my own kids were in their teens, there was only an occasional school dance, and kids seemed to have little idea about dancing with a partner.1a50b5e449a534d8edd1df901340ed88Remember how dancing was even a part of our physical education program? At clubs and bars today, most young adults just do their own thing and move alone to the music. I would venture to say that many younger people have no idea how to dance with a partner. The dance floor is more like a “mosh pit”.

Even though I was quite young, I still recall the movies with the likes of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.  38a711c984911b3be6257c3538cbb859They moved to the music as though they were one. I use to  love to watch my parents; my dad was an amazing dancer, but so easy to follow on the dance floor. It is such an extraordinary feeling to dance with someone who moves so naturally and makes up the steps as they go along. Occasionally, I see a couple dancing together and you just know they took lessons; it looks like the entire routine has been choreographed.

I really missed dancing. I must admit that there have been times when I slow danced around the living room alone when an old favorite came on the radio or rocked with the fridge door to a fast song. However, it’s not the same.

Fortunately, a while ago, I found an outlet for my dance itch. Our favorite pub holds a Karaoke night every Saturday. The music, of course, varies with the singers, but I must say we have an unbelievable array of talent that shows up every week. No night is ever the same! Best of all, we dance! Sometimes it is with each other, but some1923eec47f0ded06224fbe18af82f6d1times we find some guys who also like to sashay around the floor with us. And on very rare occasions, you find a guy who can really dance well. That’s the best!

And in the words of Abba, “You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Dancing Queen.”

Dancing keeps you young at heart, so grab every opportunity you can.

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo

By the way, if you are ever in my neighborhood on a Saturday night, come and join us at the Tartan Tavern (http://tartantavern.com/). We’d love to dance with you!