Remember?

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Getting old is real, but nature has found a way to soften the blow….. as we age, our capacity to remember things decreases. Oh, it starts off gradually. We forget where we leave our keys or misplace an item. In a conversation, we sometimes lose our train of thought, but after a bit it returns. Then retrieving someone’s name takes more effort, and so it goes. Several weeks ago, I forgot where I parked my car at the mall. Nothing too terrible, just inconvenient.

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As time goes on, things take a little longer to recall. For example, at lunch, I was watching the television and eating some crackers and humus. There was a knock on the door, but before I answered, I went to look out the window to see who was there. On my way to the door, I set down the plate I was holding. After a lengthy conversation with the church people on my porch, I closed the door and proceeded back to the living-room. But where was my plate? I wandered to the kitchen, through the dining room, back to the front door, and then again to the living room. No plate! I looked at the dog. She didn’t appear to know either. It had to be here! The lid from the humus that I was eating lay alone on the kitchen counter. I even peered into the fridge. Nothing! Feeling frustrated, I sat down in front of the tv. As I retraced my steps in my mind, my eyes scanned the room. Suddenly, there it was! Sitting on the mantle above the fireplace was my uneaten snack. Well, there went 20 minutes of my life I can’t get back.

I have come to accept these little annoyances because after all, they are a fact of aging. All one can do is laugh.

The most recent memory incident happened to my friend only yesterday. It was so funny that I am still giggling. It seems that she went to the department store to buy a new bra. While there, she decided to try on the matching panties. After much decision making in the dressing room, she decided not to purchase the bra. It happened to be Wednesday, our regular pub dinner night. She arrived at the pub directly from her shopping trip. As she joined the group at our table, her eyes widened in shock. “Oh my god! I’m going to be arrested!” she blurted out. “I walked out of the store still wearing the panties I was trying on. I returned the bra, but forgot the pants.” And with that, she hoisted her dress right there at the table to reveal the price tag still securely attached to the second pair of underwear she was wearing. The entire table of girls broke into loud laughter. She was horrified! “I can’t even return them because they will know that I took them.” After a moments thought, I suggested, “Go back and buy the bra. I think you were meant to have it.” We laughed and laughed.

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Life is way too short to worry about stolen underwear!

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo

Good Night…. Not!

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I love Maxine. She tells it like it is. Among many other things, aging takes a notable toll on our sleep patterns. Sometimes just getting ready for bed is exhausting in and of itself. This verse lays it out…..

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I am probably considered one of the lucky seniors because my teeth are still in my head and I have not yet succumbed to the need for a hearing device. I do, however, suffer from night sweats. 7586027ddb3f4b9d537e45b71ea27cfbThose wonderful menopausal years are pretty much behind me, but too often I wake from overheating.

 

 

 

 

Off go the duvet and sheet in an effort to cool my clammy body. Some nights my hair is damp and matted to my head, not the most attractive sight. And if sweltering doesn’t wake me, my bladder does. I swear I have an internal clock because I seem to be heading to the bathroom at precisely the same time every night. And speaking of my bladder, I never dreamed that Poise or Depends would be part of my shopping list.46ee29e16e320c5ce4ec03d1b3cf9a78

If it is not my bladder or a hot flash that keeps me awake, it is insomnia. I can solve all the problems of the world on these nights. A little while ago, I started using cannabis to help me sleep. I make cookies and rice krispie squares which are actually quite helpful. Who doesn’t enjoy a little treat before bedtime? I try to time eating them just right knowing they start to work in about 45 minutes for myself. At first, I worried about waking to pee, but it’s just fine. I have also noticed that I do not have night sweats or perhaps I just don’t notice them. Occasionally, I have very colorful dreams, but I wake feeling great.

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Just when I think that I have been through all the wonderful changes that aging brings, there is something new. Recently, it has been my constantly running nose. I do not have allergies, nor do I have a cold. When I bend over to pick something up, my nose starts to drip. Oy vey!

Believe it or not there is an upside to all these annoyances. 7d304744411991e5ad1ec11a710b289c

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo

 

Who’s Old?

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Driving to the cottage one weekend with my mom, I asked her, “How do you know when you are finally old and mature?” Without a moments hesitation she replied,” How the hell would I know? I’m not there yet!” She was 81 at the time. Now my mom was an amazing example of the idea that you should “die young as late as possible”. She was still rollerskating twice a week and downhill skiing in her 80’s. e9f84813bed03e5582ce442b45bdb0ef

I am by no means saying that aging is a piece of cake, but when you weigh the options, it’s the best choice. From my own experience so far, it is the physical changes that are the most difficult to accept. In past blogs, I discussed the visual changes of growing older like wrinkles, unwanted hair, sagging boobs, and graying hair, but those are relatively minor compared to other body functions.

One of the most obvious signs of getting older is Menopause. I put a capital on that word because it’s a big deal. In fact it is to blame for many of the things I listed above. I will go out on a limb here and say that no one misses their monthly period, but  who looks forward to those damn hot flashes? Those hot flashes affect you and everyone close by you. I remember when I first started to get them; I was teaching grade one. It was the middle of the winter, and I would throw open the windows in my classroom. One morning the principal dropped by for a visit. There sat all the kids wearing their mittens and hats. The principal looked at me and said,”Should I know what’s going on?” Before I could respond, a little voice spoke up, “Mrs. F. is hot!” My principal could barely contain his laughter as he closed the door behind him. He never mentioned it again.

Changes in our vision and hearing are other problems that creep up on us much more slowly. I remember my arms seemed to get shorter and shorter as I strained to read the newspaper, and I had to keep adjusting the volume on the phone and television. I have been wearing “reading glasses”  for several years now, but I am starting to notice that it is more difficult to see distances when I am driving. I guess there is an eye test in my near future.

9c054ffb4fa960ff23b81a5f2d140bd9  Sitting with the girls at the pub is a good demonstration of hearing deficit. Someone will say something and ultimately someone else will tap their neighbor on the shoulder and ask, “What did she say?”It turns into that kid’s game of “Telephone” where they pass a message down a line.

I was talking to a male friend at the pub one night and after the conversation, one of the girls asked what we were talking about for so long. I said that I had no idea because I can’t hear him very well with the music and talking. She said, “But you were answering and nodding your head.” I replied, “I just agree with everything he says and smile a lot.” She started laughing. “That could get you into trouble.” She’s probably right. I may have agreed to wild sex!!! I am counting on the theory that he can”t hear very well either. 5afd794f8e18a60044af87d79ab1fca4

I think the worst part of getting older is leakage. That’s right! I said leakage. You laugh and you pee. You cough or move the wrong way and you fart. There is no getting around it. www.pinterest.caLuckily most of us are in the same situation, so there is a general understanding among our age group. You know you are not alone with these issues because the store shelves and television ads feature helpful hygiene products that are readily available.

And how many others are up several times during the night to visit the bathroom? I can’t remember the last time that I went to bed and slept through until morning. Eight hours of sleep a night be damned!

Oh, I almost forgot! There is one change that makes the other issues less problematic. Memory loss! How many times a day do I go up the stairs and wonder what I am doing there? By the time I walk back down, I have remembered and head back up again.

0793f1b6c625ca3bcb5f78d34abba691 It’s like an involuntary exercise program.

They say that when you are a senior , you are “over the hill”. Where is this hill and what’s on the other side?  I’m not climbing it unless there is wine.

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I think the best piece of advice that I could pass on came from my own doctor, surprisingly. She said that no matter what, keep moving and living your life because when you stop doing all those things that make you happy, it’s downhill from there. And speaking for myself, I am in no hurry to get to the bottom of that damned hill.

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo