humour

Burlesque….. Seriously?

by Penny

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Every fall, as regular as clockwork, new classes begin at our local senior citizens’ centre. One of my groups favorite classes has been zumba; we all love to dance and so, it is a perfect fit for us. This fall, however, as I perused the registration catalogue, my eyes fell on a new offering….. burlesque! Really???? I read the course description, “come bump, grind and laugh”. I was intrigued to say the least and apparently I was not alone. It wasn’t long before a text came from one of the girls asking me if I had seen the program in the book. Without a moment’s hesitation, I replied, “We have to do this!” And after a flurry of calls, all four of us agreed.

Last Tuesday was our first class. Like a young child, I was most curious about who the teacher might be, who else would sign up, would it be too difficult, what should I wear? Surprisingly, the class was full. Who knew there were so many senior ladies wanting to release their sexy?

The teacher jumped right in with a light warm-up and before we knew it, we were putting together the first steps of a cheeky routine. Giggles broke out here and there as we moved our hips and caressed our curves with our hands. Some of those ladies were concentrating as though they had never moved sensually in their lives, but they were enjoying unleashing their new-found sex-goddess.  bdc50c16f91622bb4641792f6ff2884d

 

 

 

 

 

As the hour slide by, we repeated steps over and over to build the routine. Our instructor had to keep reminding us to put on a sexy smile. It is challenging to count steps and look provocative.

The men in the next room were playing a lively game of darts, but their curiosity must have gotten the better of them because every once-in-a-while one would peek in the door to see what the laughter was about.

According to our instructor, we will be learning two routines. For the second number, we will be using a chair as a prop.  I can hardly wait! I hope that my arthritis does not get in the way of my “sexy”. 26dfb1759291bd5f60112d8c30b4564a

Go ahead try something new! And 1, 2, 3, 4…. swing those hips!

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo ♥

Remember?

by Penny

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Getting old is real, but nature has found a way to soften the blow….. as we age, our capacity to remember things decreases. Oh, it starts off gradually. We forget where we leave our keys or misplace an item. In a conversation, we sometimes lose our train of thought, but after a bit it returns. Then retrieving someone’s name takes more effort, and so it goes. Several weeks ago, I forgot where I parked my car at the mall. Nothing too terrible, just inconvenient.

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As time goes on, things take a little longer to recall. For example, at lunch, I was watching the television and eating some crackers and humus. There was a knock on the door, but before I answered, I went to look out the window to see who was there. On my way to the door, I set down the plate I was holding. After a lengthy conversation with the church people on my porch, I closed the door and proceeded back to the living-room. But where was my plate? I wandered to the kitchen, through the dining room, back to the front door, and then again to the living room. No plate! I looked at the dog. She didn’t appear to know either. It had to be here! The lid from the humus that I was eating lay alone on the kitchen counter. I even peered into the fridge. Nothing! Feeling frustrated, I sat down in front of the tv. As I retraced my steps in my mind, my eyes scanned the room. Suddenly, there it was! Sitting on the mantle above the fireplace was my uneaten snack. Well, there went 20 minutes of my life I can’t get back.

I have come to accept these little annoyances because after all, they are a fact of aging. All one can do is laugh.

The most recent memory incident happened to my friend only yesterday. It was so funny that I am still giggling. It seems that she went to the department store to buy a new bra. While there, she decided to try on the matching panties. After much decision making in the dressing room, she decided not to purchase the bra. It happened to be Wednesday, our regular pub dinner night. She arrived at the pub directly from her shopping trip. As she joined the group at our table, her eyes widened in shock. “Oh my god! I’m going to be arrested!” she blurted out. “I walked out of the store still wearing the panties I was trying on. I returned the bra, but forgot the pants.” And with that, she hoisted her dress right there at the table to reveal the price tag still securely attached to the second pair of underwear she was wearing. The entire table of girls broke into loud laughter. She was horrified! “I can’t even return them because they will know that I took them.” After a moments thought, I suggested, “Go back and buy the bra. I think you were meant to have it.” We laughed and laughed.

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Life is way too short to worry about stolen underwear!

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo ♥

Where Is Prince Charming?

by Penny

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There are some things in life that change very little over time. MEN!!!!! I am being somewhat sarcastic, but the truth is that they don’t really change. Yes, they age! They lose their hair and their teeth, and put on a few pounds around the middle, but they remain under the influence of that organ that dangles between their legs. It is really quite amazing that it wields so much power. And they don’t seem to mind admitting it. I met a very nice-looking 80 year old man not long ago. He invited me for lunch and over coffee and dessert, he told me he was in love with me. My immediate reaction was, “But you barely know me!” He responded with, “I’m eighty and all my parts still work just fine. I want to make love to you.” Well, I have to admit I was lost for words, and that is a rare occurrence.42b3fbfea992e02c3890d4d0fdd39dd6

Now before you get the wrong idea, I really like most men. They are fun and relatively easy to understand. What you see is pretty much what you get. So I have to wonder why finding someone to date is so difficult. Is it me?

I have been single for a very long time. Oh, I have dated now and then, but the men I have met  seem to  want either a serious commitment or a one night fling. I have lived alone for over 30 years, and I have grown to like my solitary arrangement. I really have no desire to live with another person at this stage of the game. And as for a one night stand, unless the sex is amazing, why bother? Whatever happened to just dating? You know what I mean… going to a movie, dinner, a sports event. I would love to find someone who would enjoy doing these things with the intimacy thrown in, but no living together. Perhaps single living has made me too independent.

Just where does a woman go to meet interesting men? I have heard all the suggestions like… join a club or a gym, singles dances, singles clubs, the grocery store or hardware store, volunteer, through friends, and online dating sites.

The craziest dating experiences that I have had so far were through online dating. It is amazing the things guys, and I am sure girls as well, put in their online profiles. Do they not realize that the idea is to actually meet in person at some point? One gentleman admitted to using his brother’s picture in his profile because the brother was younger and still had his hair. Imagine my shock when we met for coffee. a4d8775a8e71bc9974b87ec702d349eb

The biggest eye-opener for me was the number of younger men who are looking for older women. At least half of the guys that contacted me online were 15 to 20 years younger, and I stated specifically in my profile that I was only interested in my own age group. One guy, who was 14 years younger than I, was so persistent that I actually agreed to meet him. I mean maybe I was missing something here. We met at the zoo of all places. We looked at the animals for a couple of hours and then grabbed a bite to eat. The conversation was easy, and our “date” turned out to be fun, but I felt like I was spending time with my son. The guy was surprised when I said “no thanks” to date number 2.

The other single women in my social group agree with me. Where are all the eligible senior men? Oh, they are out there, but they are looking for younger women! If you have any suggestions for us, please let us know; we welcome any help we can get. Short of that, we may have to get fishing nets and head to the closest frog pond.

 

Thanks for reading,

Penny xo ♥